By Braam Pretorius

You know him. You’ve seen him. You even may be him.

In every country, there’s That Guy, the name, the face, the entire vibe that screams, “I was born into this culture, and I carry its legacy like a cooler box at a rugby match.”

Here’s a quick global breakdown of the one person who defines the DNA of a nation.

South Africa – Sakkie van der Merwe

Drives: Toyota Hilux with dual tanks

Eats: Biltong and whatever’s on the braai

Attire: Safari shorts, rugby jersey, vellies

Vibe: Unshakable. Doesn’t complain about loadshedding because he has an inverter, a genny, and a cousin who installs solar.

Sakkie doesn’t ask for trouble. He simply says: “Ag nee wat, ek sort dit gou uit.”

And somehow, he does.

United Kingdom – Sir Reginald Fortescue-Smythe, 12th Earl of Gloucestershire

Drives: Nothing. He gets driven.

Eats: Marmalade toast and roast pheasant

Attire: Tweed and a stern frown

Vibe: He is the establishment. His voice is so posh it can open parliament. Probably owns a castle. Possibly two.

He refers to working-class people as “the chaps down in the village.”

United States – Thaddeus Prescott III

Drives: A black Suburban with diplomatic plates

Eats: Dry-aged steak, but only from Nebraska

Attire: Polo shirt tucked into chinos

Vibe: Born into a trust fund layered like an onion. Went to Yale. Owns cufflinks shaped like the Constitution. His great granddaddy signed something important in 1776.

Thaddeus uses "legacy" as a verb. As in: “I legacy’d into Harvard.”

Australia – Dazza Thompson

Drives: A dusty ute named “Shazza”

Eats: Meat pies and whatever’s on the barbie

Attire: Thongs (the feet kind), shorts, and a singlet

Vibe: Laid-back until the Wallabies lose. Then it’s war. Has a Southern Cross tattoo, probably got it on a dare. Been “on smoko” for the last six years.

If you hear, “Yeah nah mate,” you’re in Dazza’s domain.

Every country’s got their guy. Sakkie. Reginald. Thaddeus. Dazza.

Each one a national treasure in their own right. Different accents. Same energy. The kind of person who, no matter the crisis, just shrugs and says: "I’ve got this."