Once upon a time in the neon-lit halls of X (formerly known as Twitter, now just suffering from an identity crisis), two billionaire egos collided like rogue asteroids: Donald J. Trump, the orange-hued chaos machine with an internet connection, and Elon Reeve Musk, the meme-flinging space overlord who keeps forgetting he runs actual companies.

It began, as these things always do, with a tweet.

Trump, now unbanned and unfiltered, logged into X after a golf session and Diet Coke marathon, firing off a jab that read:

“Elon is a good guy, but—and many people are saying this—he should probably stop launching Teslas into space and focus on fixing his autopilot before it drives us all into a ditch. SAD!”

Musk, still riding the high of renaming Twitter to a letter your printer sometimes can’t even process, responded with a casual “L + Ratio + TruthGPT > TrumpGPT.” The gloves were off.

For weeks, the Xverse watched in horror/delight as two titans of troll battled it out:

• Trump called Musk a “third-world Iron Man knockoff.”
• Musk posted a picture of Trump Photoshopped as a Mar-a-Lago butler serving Diet Pepsi to Zuckerberg.
• Trump replied with “Wrong soda. FAKE image. I drink Diet Coke. Everyone knows this.”

Then came the Space Force Leak™, in which an “anonymous insider” (possibly Eric Trump, possibly Elon's burner account) revealed that Trump had once asked Musk if Starlink could be used to “beam campaign ads into people’s dreams.”

The bromance was dead. Or so we thought.

The Apology Heard Around the Web

 This morning, in what can only be described as a coordinated PR détente (or a weird fever dream), the two posted near-simultaneous tweets:

@realDonaldTrump:

“Elon’s a smart guy. Maybe too smart. People don’t understand him like I do. We had a beautiful chat. No one chats better than me. Good guy. Genius. Maybe slightly autistic, but hey, so is half my cabinet.”

@elonmusk:

“Trump is… uniquely American. His hairline may defy gravity more than any Falcon rocket. Respect.”

Moments later, they were both spotted on a live X Space (called “Make Mars Great Again”), talking over each other while praising each other.

“Elon, you’re doing things nobody thought possible. Except me. I thought they were possible,” Trump said, smiling like a man reunited with his favorite mirror.

“El Don, you’ve disrupted democracy in ways that inspired my Neuralink team's entire trauma-response protocol,” Elon replied, tearing up slightly. “We’re adding a Trump filter to our AI chatbot. It’ll just shout WRONG when the facts aren’t convenient.”

What's Next for This Toxic Techno-Tango?

 Rumors swirl that the pair are planning to co-launch a new crypto coin called "TruthX", a decentralized platform for unverified opinions, bad haircuts, and Mars colonization vouchers.

Also in the works:

• A 2026 joint rally titled “From the White House to the Moon Base”
• A joint autobiography called “Stable Geniuses: How We Fixed the Internet By Breaking It”
• A buddy road trip documentary sponsored by Tesla and MyPillow

In the end, love (and mutual narcissism) always finds a way.

Disclaimer: The above may or may not be real. But let’s be honest, it totally could be.

 "Written by Braam Pretorius, who once saw Trump in a dream riding a blesbok. He waved."